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I Oprahed by Susan Kelley

This blog, like I Oprahed, the book, is specifically written for “women of a certain age . . . you and me.” Topics will include the battle of maintenance, the care of our aging parents, widowhood and dating after a certain age, adult children and the parents who love them anyway, returning to school, and finding your mojo and having a ball while doing it. If you are a woman who continues to pursue her dream, regardless of age or life situation, this blog is for you. What have you got to lose?

In reading my stories you will find validation, because we are all in this together.

I Oprahed is a collection of loosely linked essays that feature a humorous look at the aging process. My goal is to help empower all women to fight the good fight for their dignity, skills, and deserved respect in the face of mounting invisibility—while having fun.  Along the way you will find clever tips and quotable lines that you will soon be emailing your friends.

For starters, here’s my favorite quote from Ruth Gordon, from an interview she gave when she was in her sixties. It’s my mantra and I try to live by it. She was asked how she finally became a successful actress so late in life (in her mid-sixties). Her answer:

“Never give up, never listen to the facts, and work harder than anybody else.”

I was just wondering why some women  never give up on beauty and youth while others give up too soon.  At some point in the aging process,  many women start to look like men.  They take on the shape of a fire hydrant, ignore obvious facial hair and have their hair cut short.  GIRLZ TO MEN!  Don’t let it happen to you.

I’d like to say something about shoes and aging. 

As though aging and trying to maintain some sense of fashion isn’t awkward enough, here come the six-inch-plus platform shoes.  I observe in wonder Kate Middleton’s beige patent pumps, magazine and TV ads and shoe store displays. How can anyone possibly walk in those without risking unexpected injury?!  Most everyone my age with whom I share secrets admits to a bad back, bad neck, sciatica and arthritis, among other bodily assaults. If we have any brain cells left, we know by our 60s that we have to take care of whatever we have left—like our feet.  So where does this leave us? 

I can answer that.

As a young woman, I wore ill-fitting shoes with pointy toes.  As a young adult, I graduated to too-tight boots that I bought on sale. They looked great. As a middle-aged woman, I ended up with a thing I’d never heard of called Morton’s neuroma–nerve damage in my right foot (and I’m not going to even mention the bunion). I could no longer wear pointy toes or tight boots, as the pain was unbearable. As I got older, I got smarter, but as I try to stay in the game in my sixties, the most I can manage is occasional two-inch heels. Unfortunately, that is not fashionable. 

My husband’s daughter was recently visiting us. She is tall and slender and a fashionista.  We were going out to dinner. She showed up looking dewy and beautiful at forty-two years old, wearing six-inch platform heels. They complemented her outfit and the overall effect was stunning.  But that left me, at 5’4”, with two-inch Cuban-heeled sandals. They were all I could possibly walk two feet in.  Standing next to her, at 5’7”, with the addition of her six-inch platforms, I had the look of the shrunken old crone.

 Oh, well, she’s young.  As for me, I reassured myself that, most importantly, I always land on my feet.  I just hope they’re not in some old-lady sandals. I’m looking for the new chic for my age.  I can’t give up.